All About Ella

Ella celebrated her first birthday on Sunday, November 30. I can't believe an entire year has gone by since I had her. Time really does speed up as our family gets older and we have more kids. I think it is because of all the things going on all the time--not too many lazy afternoons or days anymore. Ella is such a spunky, funny thing. She really does know what she wants and has a fit if she is crossed. For example, she knows where the honey is on the kitchen shelf (she likes to suck the tip like a bottle.) When she gets to it and I have to take it away, I have an earache for an hour to pay for my apparent rudeness. She loves to climb on stairs or chairs. Of course she is a hazard on both these things and I have to stop her whenever she happens to get through a gate left open. Once I even caught her trying to climb over the gate on the stairs. This all comes as a shock to me because I've never had a climber before. Abigail and Maggie both had such different personalities. Abigail was really mild and independent, Maggie more clingy and stuck to me like glue.

For her birthday we took her to a nearby park on the Lower Pierce Reservoir. There is water with trails and jungle around it and a play toy. Ella is officially walking and I knew she would have fun climbing on the playground. When we pulled up there was a group (herd, congregation, family, what have you) of monkeys. Monkeys are just a plain nuisance to us now, but Ella does love monkeys so at first it was kind of cute to see her point her little finger and make a happy noise. She also loved climbing the steps on the play toy and sliding down the slide. She was very content and happy. The other kids were enjoying themselves as well. Then the male monkey, the leader of the pack, decided to come onto the play toy and perch himself right by the slide. This made me nervous because from past experience I know that the male in the family can be very aggressive, not to mention he is significantly bigger than the others presenting a more immediate danger to the small children. So Joseph gets on the play toy (I had the camera and I was taking pictures) and positions himself between this monkey and Xander who was playing happily on one side of the toy. (I just took Ella off altogether.) I think Joseph looked at the monkey wrong or something because He showed his teeth (and monkeys have very sharp teeth)and started swinging at Joseph and making a hissing noise. Joseph didn't budge and made a motion to shoo it away. That didn't go well either. More hissing and swinging. By this time I was begging Joseph to just get away and let him claim his territory--we would go. I wasn't about to let my kids anywhere near the thing now. Joseph reluctantly stepped away and the showdown ended. In Joseph's own words, "I wanted to break that monkey's neck." I suppose I could have snapped a picture of it all, but I was seriously worried he would swing onto Joseph and bite him in the neck and I would have to save him. I guess it was a memorable birthday.

The cake and presents at home went a lot better. As you can see, Ella thoroughly enjoyed her cake, licking the plate and her tray. We were all done taking pictures and eating our cake when I looked at Ella and she had put the plate behind her head. I said, "Oh Joseph look. Quick get a picture." All the kids started laughing and Ella didn't know what she did, but she started laughing too. It was a fun moment. More than her cake and presents, I think Ella sure enjoyed all the attention she was getting. She is sure a fun girl and we are glad she is a part of our family.

Sundays are good for walking

We are lucky enough to have weather year round that is conducive to taking a walk,; thus we have established the routine of taking walks on Sunday afternoons--after everyone gets a nap that is. It is roughly 86 give or take a degree every day here in Singapore with almost daily rain storms in the rainy season (which we are in the midst of now). The rain is brief, pouring down hard for 10 minutes or so then lightening up and eventually stopping altogether after maybe 30 minutes. We have a terrible plastic sheeting over an atrium in the middle of our home that makes it sound like an army is marching through when it rains hard. The landlady had it open to the elements and when we looked at the house we told her that wouldn't work for us. As part of the contract she covered the atruim and everything looked good when we did a final walk-through. And then it rained and we got the surprising shock of how shabby her fix had really been. I'm used to it now and fortunately it never rains hard for long. We have learned that in order to communicate with each other downstairs during such rain we must yell. Just a small quirk. Finding a place to live here was quite the adventure and I'm sure that anywhere would have had some quirk or another. Only when I have people over for playgroup or dinners (like the 26 I'm having over for Thanksgiving) I pray that it doesn't rain!


One of our favorite walks is to go to a nearby park called Bishan. The government here has really made an effort to provide nice parks throughout the island--havens for shade, nature and walking in the midst of a busy metropolis. I like to take Xander there during the week and let him ride his bike while I try to get a good walk in with Ella. Bishan Park is, in a sense, a community backyard and we certainly enjoy going there. We also walk on the paths around the HDB housing right next to us. HDB is government housing which is built and subsidized by the government to make sure that everyone can afford a house. They are tall condo-like buildings. They are not particularly attractive but they eliminate any slums or seedy/scary places caused by homelessness or poverty. They are usually designed with paths going through them, exercise stations, areas to gather with tables and benches, and playgrounds. The kids like to play on the bars at the exercise stations. Xan can also ride his bike on these trails. I have never seen a country so well-planned and thought out as Singapore. We also have two resevoirs right across the street complete with monkies, trails through the jungle and boardwalks right on the water.

Catching Up

So here is my continued effort to keep up with my blog and kids activities. This narrative is probably more than most people other than myself care to read, but my primary purpose is to write a history of us to have as a record throughout the years--one I plan on printing into a book. The weeks just seem to fly by the more kids we have. There is always something going on and somewhere to go. I love it! Abigail is in soccer and loves it. I recently asked her to rate her activities on a scale from 1 to 10. Soccer received a 10 and so did piano (boy was I thrilled about that, seeing that I am her teacher and all.) Gymnastics was a 9. She is a strong girl and coordinated but quite sensitive. This has made it difficult at times as she gets emotional out on the field when things don't go quite as she expects (in terms of her ability to perform.) So soccer has had its good and bad moments. She is on a team with some outstanding players and I think it has been a challenge for her at times to meet expectations. Recently I have been analyzing a little more objectively, or at least trying to, all the different facets of being a parent. I realized that you have to be careful not to live vicariously through your children, expecting them to be the most amazing at this or that because their achievements can be a reflection of you as a parent. My child is amazing at this, therefore I am an amazing parent. I observe parents on the field and I can see how easily this happens. Abigail has tried hard and had fun and that is what is important. She even scored a goal a couple of games ago on a penalty kick. She has a lot of potential and we mostly want her to have fun, get some exercise, and gain some confidence.

Here is a little update since I last wrote about soccer. Abigail had her final game today against the dark blue team. They are the formidable team in the league with big girls and a very demanding coach, the kind that screams and yells on the sidelines not realizing that this is 3rd and 4th grade girls soccer not college. They haven't lost a game and mostly slaughter the teams they play sometimes scoring 12-0 without mercy. Abigail's team played them before and lost 2-4, giving the dark blues their toughest win. So at half, Abigail's team is down 0-2 after playing hard despite being pushed a lot and tired from the heat. Abigail played defense which she was comfortable with. After half the coach moves her to offense. Her team has a really strong offense and she feels a little uncomfortable up there. A teammate passes her the ball and she shoots and misses. A little later, she gets the ball again, shoots, misses, follows it up and scores the first goal for her team. I must have let out quite a scream because Xander, sitting on my lap turns to me and says, "mom, wu (he can't say his "y's" and it is kind of cute) were so loud." Abigail is actually embarrassed about the goal and kind of looks down shyly as her team is cheering. They scored another goal and tied the formidable dark blue team, at least breaking their total domination streak. We were so proud of Abigail. (pictured below after just scoring)

Both the girls are in gymnastics. Maggie originally got involved (based on a recommendation from a perceptual motor coach at the school--Maggie could use a little more practice with balance and coordination skills.) She loved it and it has done amazing things for her confidence and overall well-being as she has had a hard time accepting living here and the school SAS. I think being a part of something has helped her feel like this is her home and her school. She has fun with the other girls and especially loves the bars. She also loves her new gym outfit--black velvet with red and silver stars. Maggie has always had a thing for clothes though. I can still pick out Abigail's clothes but not Maggie. She has a sense of fashion all her own and sometimes rather unique. Abigail observed gymnastics one day and then begged to also go. She especially thought the trampoline looked fun--a special gymnastics trampoline that makes you go much higher than normal (good thing the coaches are always spotting the girls.) She has the strength and coordination so gymnastics comes a little more naturally. She doesn't love it as much as Maggie though, but she is having fun and both will continue throughout the school year. It is expensive, but I have thought time and time again you can't put a price on confidence, and especially in Maggie's case it has been more than worthwhile.

Xander is still just a cute, eternally optimistic kid. He always has to give his dad a hug before he leaves for work. He waits outside for his sisters to get off the bus, then immediately runs up to give them hugs. Each time I drop him off at school, he has to give me a hug and a kiss before I leave the classroom: just an all around affectionate kid. He has been into pirates lately, especially after Abigail and I dressed up as pirates for a mothers and daughters Halloween fashion show for Achievement Day at the church. Abigail checked out a book on pirates at the library and he found it one night after fishing through her backpack. He came running upstairs to me and said, "mom, I gotta read this!" I sat down with him and started "pre-reading" it so I could paraphrase the long narration that went with the pictures. It was all about stealing and killing, pillaging, and plundering. I had to be really creative with my watering down/editing for a 3 year old boy. "Pirates like jewels and they like to fight with swords . . ." I didn't want him to make thieves and murderers his idols. The pirate craze it over and now he is fascinated with knights after he found a Magic Treehouse book with a knight on the cover. Again, he wanted to read it and I had to do some major paraphrasing (it is from a series of books Abigail read last year--about 90 pages with a few pictures here and there.) We love his thirst for knowledge and his love for life. He is always the first one to ask, "are we having scripture study," or "is tonight family night?" even though he is the last one to listen and hold still.

Ella is turning out to be quite a feisty little thing and more than capable of holding her own with a 3 year old brother. At church the other day Ella had the audacity to take one of Xander's animal cookies. He got mad at her and attempted to get it back. This was in sacrament meeting. Ella shrieked in anger and lunged at Xander, taking me completely by surprise with her passion. Almost simultaneously, Xander started screaming back at her. Joseph and I looked at each other in amazement for about a nanosecond (along with a dozen or more heads turned our way) before I pulled Ella off of Xan and he snatched him up quickly and made his escape. Ella was easily placated with her own bag of cookies so I got to remain in the meeting. This is just one example of Ella's feistiness. She will hit, grab shirts or hair, whatever it takes to get her point across with Xan. With the older girls she is all smiles and babbling, then again they don't do anything to upset her much. She even said "Ge," her first attempt at "Maggie" this morning when I told her to say bye bye to Maggie. That is more than she has done for me! (She doesn't say "ma ma" or "da da" for that matter.) She cruises around on furniture and takes steps here and there on her own. Joseph claims she is walking, but no, she crawls still 90% of the time. It won't be long though and I can't wait. The more independent the better I always say when it comes to babies.

Joseph has been gone for the past two weeks and that is no fun for me. With full-time help though I really can't complain like I used to in Minnesota. We have a full-time maid who lives with us, Marifi, a sweet lady from the Philippines. The week of Halloween was so busy I don't know how I could have done it solo. There were school parties, sports, church activities, helping in Maggie's class, play groups, and trick-or-treating of course. This on top of the usual: feed the kids, baths, scripture study, FHE, homework, teaching piano and bed. Halloween was a smashing success. We actually celebrated it this year (as opposed to last year when I was 9 months pregnant.) We went to the school pumpkin patch which isn't quite like picking pumpkins in the farm fields of Minnesota, but it was a pumpkin patch nonetheless and the kids had fun finding the perfect pumpkin and picking out gourds for their room. We took them home that afternoon and then got dressed for the ward Halloween party. With over 100 kids there and their families in a modified church (no cultural hall like in the US) you can imagine how crowded it was. The kid went to different rooms fishing for treats, singing for treats, saying their part for the program for a treat, bobbing for apples and more.

Monday we carved our pumpkins early because dad was leaving for Europe and we wanted his help. We then had a Halloween dinner with our jack-o-lanterns lit, dinner served from a pumpkin, spooky hands and other Halloween treats. Joseph left that night. Halloween day was actually pretty crazy too with both the girls' school parties, gymnastics after school and then trick-or-treating in the Woodlands, the American neighborhood right by the school. It is like a block party, totally insane, with hundreds, possibly thousands of people crowding the streets. The roads are blocked off to traffic even--cars couldn't drive even if they wanted to. We stayed for 1 hour and that was enough to get the kids some candy and get out as it really started to get crowded. The girls were excited because they knew what to expect but Xander walked around like he was in a dream. All the homes were decked out with skeletons, monsters, ghosts and other crazy things. He was in a daze almost forgetting to go and get his candy. You don't actually ring the doorbell here. The stream of people is so constant, they just sit outside at a table with a huge bucket of candy in front of each house and the kids walk up to the table to trick-or-treat.

We all started Chinese tutoring on Saturdays now. The girls work with a tutor for 30 min. each while Joseph and I have a joint lesson with our tutor for 1 hour. After my first lesson I kept thinking how easy it would be to study french now instead! My tongue and throat don't want to make those noises and then the tones. Joseph always reminds me that if more than a billion people can learn it then so can I. We'll see how it progresses. We are going to try to learn characters too. Cargill allows us a budget for learning Chinese and we thought we might as well make good use of it-- a 'use it or lose it' kind of deal.

Besides starting Chinese, some of my other accomplishments this month have included taking all the kids to the dentist on Orchard Road (Singapore's equivalent of 5th Ave in New York City.) The fact that none of the kids had a cavity certainly trumped finding a parking spot and getting them all there 5 minutes early. I am proud to say none of them have ever had a cavity and I do take credit for that. Okay Joseph gets a lot too.

Joseph has returned from his trip and he even managed to hit a Costco in the UK for a 30 minute shopping spree. I told him to get some Christmas decorations--maybe wrapping paper. He came back with 30+ pounds of wrapping paper; enough to last us for the next 10 years at least. What a guy.

Cambodia

The girls had a fall break from school in October and we decided to use the opportunity to go see Angkor Wat in Cambodia. It was really ambitious to pack up the 4 children and head to Siem Reap but we want to see things in the region and we don't want to wait until it is easier or leave the children behind. We stayed 4 days in a beautiful resort, very Asian and built with tradition Khmer style architecture. The lobby and reception were outdoors next to lily ponds as was the dining area. The first evening we were there was Sunday and we wanted to just take it easy, so we packed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with some chips and cookies and headed in a tuk-tuk to the main temple: Angkor Wat. Built in the 12th century as a Hindu temple to honor Vishnu, a Hindu deity, it is the largest temple there and the most recognizable with the 3 towers. What struck me initially was the huge moat, larger than any moat I've ever seen; and we learned later from our guide, dug entirely by hand. We walked around admiring the splendor of it all and that feeling of, "wow, I'm actually here." For the kids, it was a giant rock jungle gym with fun passageways to explore, dilapidated steps to climb, and endless pillars to hide behind. We stayed for an hour or so before heading back in the tuk-tuk, covered carriage type seating pulled by a motorbike. The kids thought they were exciting--the bumpier and dustier the better.






























On Monday we had a guide and a van to take us around. We went back to Angkor Wat with a guide this time. Ella was carted around in a backpack while the rest of the kids were troopers, walking in hot humid weather for hours on end. In fact, I don't think I've ever sweat so much in my entire life. It was hot and humid, and that combination pretty much creates a slow cooker environment as it beats on the stone in the temples. I also went granola girl there without makeup and other beauty necessities, i.e., curling irons, blow dryer, curlers, etc. Good thing there weren't any mirrors at the temples! Actually, it was really refreshing to just wake up and go, then sweat, sweat, sweat, before coming home and showering.



































After spending the morning at Angkor Wat, we headed to the largest fresh water lake, Tonle Sap it is called, and got on a little private boat to take us around to see the floating village--about 5000 people or so that live on boats turned homes. The school and stores float on the lake too. We saw a mother taking her boys to school in a little boat, and a woman with her small boat full of goods going from house to house selling fruits and things. It was very picturesque with the water hyacinth growing, separating the little floating shacks, a very simple life, albeit in abject poverty. Cruising on the boat was a needed respite from the heat of the temples and the kids had a blast hanging out the sides of the boat or riding on the front. After the lake we headed back to Siem Reap and the temple Ta Prohm (or the Indiana Jones adventure I like to call it.) It has huge roots growing in and around the temple that make it quite almost surreal. We went to Cambodia during the wet season and consequently everything was so green with moss growing on the temples giving them a green hue too. That night, and each night for that matter, we fell into our beds totally dead.


























Tuesday we tried to get an early start to beat some of the heat and we headed out of Siem Reap to a temple a ways north. The best part was the drive there and seeing the countryside: the rice fields with buffalo up to their chest in water, water lilies blooming and chickens, roosters and cattle wandering the yards and streets. The houses were all built on stilts and for good reason with water in and around the yard. Again, the poverty and life in such circumstances was almost unimaginable. We saw children, very small children, running around naked in the red mud while the women toiled over outdoor stoves. The temple was interesting--much smaller than the others. It was another Hindu temple with very intricate carving. The kids, at this point, were getting a little weary of temples but still good natured. Abigail spotted a spider in a web bigger than her hand.

















After a short nap and lunch we headed to the final temple complex, Angkor Thom. We spent the afternoon there and ended with an elephant ride to the top of the highest temple to watch the sunset. With 3 of us each on the backs of two elephants, the elephant ride was a highlight for all the kids and their only complaint was that it had to end so soon. We had a perfect view of Angkor Wat in the distance and the surrounding marshy landscape. I still can't believe how much water just collects in that country.

Wednesday we took it easy, slept in a little and let the kids swim at the pool during the morning while Ella got a badly needed nap. Unfortunately she had a fever at the onset of the trip and continued with a runny nose and cough throughout. Consequently, Joseph and I slept very little throughout the trip, but luckily sleep deprivation is something we are used to and so the effects were minimal. The kids loved swimming and exploring the pool which was like a snakey river winding around and through the resort.

After another peanut butter and jelly lunch (we consumed so much PB&J on that trip, I still am not interested in touching peanut butter), we headed into the little city center of Siem Reap to look at the old market and head to the silk farm. We all loved the silk farm and found it to be so fascinating. We started in the fields where they grow the mulberry trees to feed the silk worms, walked through the whole process and saw the cocoons boiled, the silk stringing out of the boiling water, spun on spools, dyed--all by hand--to the looms where it was being woven into the most beautiful cloth for scarves, shawls, whatever. The kids were all mesmerized with the women hard at work and the old fashioned machines they wound and pumped with their hands or feet. Even though silk is being produced in other countries all in factories with electronic machines, they still do the entire process by hand in Cambodia because it creates more jobs; and further, it is an art and they are training artisans there. The finished products were exquisite and I actually felt good about spending money there after I saw the work that went into the silk and knew where the money was going. I was surprised to learn that I actually knew nothing about how silk was made.

That puts us on the plane back to Singapore with lots of new knowledge and memories. I hope that Abigail and Maggie will at least remember this trip. While traveling and having fun together as a family is worthwhile in and of itself, creating unity and memories, we had another objective in mind. Singapore is such a posh place in comparison to the other areas in Southeast Asia. I want to expose my children to the ways of other cultures and how various people live. Allowing my children to see poverty and deprivation is so much more efficacious than telling them about it. Ultimately, we want to take their experience beyond passive observation, finding ways to get involved through service and meaningful interaction with people. Hopefully this will enrich their view of life and help them appreciate all the advantages and blessings that they enjoy every day. I don't think there is any tangible gift we could give them worth more.

Introduction

We had a fantastic summer visiting family and friends in California and Minnesota. The kids are in school now and we are a pretty busy, normal family living in an exotic place. We are starting our second year in Singapore. Because this is my first attempt at blogging, I am going to do a basic introduction of the family and see if I can manage to get pictures up too: my blogging debut. If all goes well, I will try to post something every month and someday compile it all as a family history.

Abigail
Abigail is in third grade at a private international school here in Singapore. She has a fantastic teacher who has taught there for 23 years (and about 15 years elsewhere before that.) She likes school, especially writing and PE. She has recently started soccer and practices once a week with games on Saturday. She is also in gymnastics one day a week and is beginning her 4th year at the piano. She works hard and is one busy girl. She is easy going and very responsible. She is constancy.

Maggie

Maggie is in first grade at the same school. After a rough first year here, I am happy to report that she is enjoying school and happy to be in Singapore. Just recently she said she wants to live in Singapore for at least 6 more years and maybe until she finishes all her school here. She has a great teacher and has made some better friends at school. She is also in gymnastics 2 days a week (the girls could each pick 2 activities to participate in and she choose gymnastics and gymnastics). She is beginning her 3rd year at the piano. In school she loves math and music. She is an amazing reader and a very conscientious student. We call her the spice in our family because she keeps things interesting.

Xander

Xander just turned 3 in June and is going to preschool 2 days a week. He was a little hesitant at first but is enjoying it more each time. He has recently learned that his whole name is Joseph Alexander Gordhamer and is pretty impressed by this, telling anyone he meets. The fedex man came to the door to deliver something and he ran up saying, "Hi, my name is Joseph Alexander --------- but my friends call me Xander." He is a very friendly, optimistic kid and a joy to have around. He is still passionate about trucks and dinosaurs. He is often a T. Rex, a very loud T. Rex. He is variety in our family.

Ella Marie

Ella is almost 10 months old and is crawling all over the place. Our goal each morning is to keep her from choking or falling down stairs. She loves to eat paper and consumes it at an alarming rate. She literally devours books. She enjoys her siblings and being a part of things. Of all the kids, I think I could call her more of a "spitfire." She has blue eyes, 8 teeth and still no hair, but that is normal in our family. Ella has the most of her dad's genes in her with those deep set eyes. What she will bring to our family is still to be discovered.



Me and Joseph (okay, there aren't very many pictures of us together. This picture from the Gordhamer 4th of July family reunion in Minnesota was all I could find; and sorry mom, but I married into a motorcycle family.)

Joseph recently accepted a position in the steel trading business with Cargill (as opposed to the strategy group he was in that brought us here.) Because the steel business is headquartered out of Singapore, we are here to stay, for awhile that is. (I've learned with Cargill anything can happen at anytime.) He is the gospel doctrine teacher in the ward. He still likes to run and swim when he gets the chance. And he loves his motorcycle.

I am busy doing to usual things: packing school lunches, driving here and there and back here again, helping with homework, teaching piano, changing diapers, blogging. I am reading more--no TV helps. I facilitate the book group through the ward and am room parent for Abigail's 3rd grade class. I'm always eager to plan our next trip (Cambodia in October is coming up.)

Random Section

You know you're in Singapore when . . .


Monkeys come into your backyard and clean every living leaf off of your new papaya tree (where is Grandpa Gordhamer's bb gun when you need it.) We really were/are trying to have some sort of produce as a garden for our kids.


"Lizard traps" for the house are on the top of your shopping list (actually they are geckos.) And it is really disconcerting when just as you are going to bed you see a lizard run behind your night stand. Once Joseph reached into a bad of cookies for a late night snack and was greeted by one who got there first.

Mold covers your shoes if you leave them out too long. In fact, green mold grows on most clothes and shoes that aren't kept in an air-conditioned home.