11 Years

If we had a song, it would be the one you should be hearing now--Secret Garden by Bruce Springsteen. I think it has stuck over the years because it was the song playing on the radio the Spring of 97 when we started dating at BYU. And it kind of captures how our relationship started. Joseph was determined and persistent, certainly patient. I was reserved and contradictory, certainly hard to get to know and even harder to get close to. Those were somewhat confusing times, mixed with a little bit of nostalgia and magic; and it is strange to think back to how it all began--to see that it, we, really worked and to see just how far we have come. (Including this picture. It is a digital photo of a photo, taken in 2002 with the first digital camera we owned.)

So here are some memories over the years, a tribute to our marriage for you to peruse and for posterity to enjoy.

I'll start at the beginning--Winter of 96. Without dragging out all the details, we were in the same ward but didn't really exchange so much as a "hi" until we were paired together as a Big Brother/Big Sister through BYUSA. That is how we first got to know each other and it wasn't exactly the conventional way of mutual interest, attraction, dating, etc. After months of this, Joseph called me one afternoon in the Spring of 97to ask me to go to a swing dance at the HFAC--fine arts building on campus. (It probably doesn't even exist anymore.) This was strange--a date. I accepted and we had fun together. After all, it had become quite natural to just hang out with Joseph without worrying about trying to impress him, or wondering what he was thinking about me.

So we started to move in a new direction, managing to spend a lot of time together without officially dating. We still took the little boy out each Saturday for BYUSA. Joseph showed me his favorite sandwich joint in some old basement off Center Street. We would eat sandwiches outside the old capitol building on the grass. He taught me how to country dance at Jake's, and we met in the library and did homework together. We spent time hiking around Rock Canyon and sitting on a huge rock there as the evenings grew warmer. Then school was over and Joseph was going home to Minnesota for the summer to work construction. I was flying home for the two week break before coming back for Spring term. Joseph drove with me to the airport and was then going to drive my little red VW Fox back to Provo for me. It all seemed kind of anti-climatic. Joseph dropped me off at the curb and said goodbye. He slipped a letter into my hand and said, "light reading--for the plane." I'm sure I mumbled, "thanks," or something. And then I went to check in and he drove off--or so I thought. I was riding the escalator up to the gates in what I remember to be a fairly deserted airport. And I heard someone call my name. It was Joseph running past the ticketing and up the escalator. "Wait I forgot something," he was saying. Then he caught up to me and said, "I forgot this." And he kissed me right there at the top of the escalator. That was it. Then he ran back down. Now that I think about it, he was probably worried my car would get towed. It wasn't our first kiss, but it was definitely the beginning of something more meaningful. Oh yes, and that letter wasn't exactly "light reading." Thus began a summer of correspondence via good, old-fashioned letter writing. I still have the bundle of letters he wrote me bound with a rubber band, sitting at the bottom of my cedar chest.

There are many more pieces that make up this picture but I will end at the beginning. Joseph likes to tell the engagement story. It too is rather unconventional and quite entertaining--at least his version is.

I thought I would also note some of the other memorable anniversaries we have shared over the past 11 years. We spent our first anniversary where it all begin: the San Diego temple and afterwards enjoyed a lunch at a great Mexican restaurant nearby, complete with dancers and serenading. On our second anniversary we went camping in the Shenandoah National Park out in Virginia where we were living at the time. By then we had Abigail. It was the first and last time I've ever been camping with Joseph. Luckily, we now have children more than willing to accommodate his camping preference. We hiked, saw deer, and even a few of the yellow and black rattlers out there. For number 3, we ate dinner at the Blue Iguana across the street from our little condo in Fairfax. We always observed a stream of patrons at that small restaurant and wanted to try it, that is until we saw the price. But we splurged on our anniversary and even went to see Pearl Harbor in the theaters afterward. I'm sure we did something nice for 4, 5 and 6 but they have slipped my mind. Now number 7 I remember because I was very pregnant with Xander and I spent our anniversary alone while Joseph traveled in Romania. I guess it was my gift to him. He had to go there on business, but was done on Friday. However he stayed over the weekend of our anniversary and spent 2 days in his old mission areas, attending church in the branch he had served in for 1 year. He did bring me home some beautiful handmade vases, which I did set out to display and now 2 are broken . . . We went to Belize for number 9. That was quite spontaneous and fabulous--very memorable. And number 10, that's a big one, we ate dinner at The Raffles Hotel here in Singapore in what is called The Tiffan Room. The hotel is a spectacular building of the British colonial era in the 19th century. And what will we be doing this Saturday on our 11th anniversary? This is great: a Singapore 1st Ward BBQ.

All in all, it's been a pretty good 11 years.