The Conclusion

After fifteen days in and out of the hospital and operating theaters, Joseph finally came home last weekend. When he said to the doctor at his follow-up appointment, "A hundred years ago I would have been dead," the doctor responded that actually people today die from the severity of appendicitis that he had. His appendix most likely burst on a Saturday and his abdomen was filled with infection. The doctor said it was an acute rupture of the appendix and the infection had almost certainly gone into his blood stream by Sunday afternoon when he went to the ER. If he wasn't healthy and strong, he could very well have gone into shock from the poison filling his body.

The first surgery on that Sunday afternoon went well and his appendix was removed followed by 2 liters of antibiotic rinse to clean his intestines. However, he remained weak and sick and recovery wasn't going well. In 5-10% of appendix cases, the small intestines can become blocked due to the "stickiness" of the procedure. The more severe the case, the more likely this can happen. During the first week, Joseph continued to vomit excessively and it became apparent that something else was wrong. More CAT scans revealed that he had intestinal adhesions--or his small bowels had stuck together causing an obstruction, blocking the path in the small intestine and causing the intestines to swell considerably. He looked terrible, hadn't eaten in anything in a week and was really kept going by IV fluids. He was vomiting stomach acids profusely and finally they put a tube down his throat to relieve him of that. His next surgery was a week later had was performed right after this new problem was discovered. The doctor was able to go into his abdomen through the same 3 cuts from the appendix, adding a fourth.


Recovery was slow but going in the right direction this time. He was unable to eat anything for days, keeping the IVs in with liquid and food now along with the tube draining his stomach acids. Then, starting with the basics, he slowly and painfully added things to his diet--rice cereal, applesauce, jello, soup. After another week of what seemed like baby steps (literally and figuratively), he was able to get off the sustaining IVs and pain killers and come home.

Some lessons learned from this experience:

1. Even during tough times, it is very clear that the Lord is aware of you and watching over everything and this is evidenced by small miracles. We call these tender mercies. We are grateful Joseph wasn't in China when all this happened. He started feeling uncomfortable on the flight home, and within an hour of landing he was really sick. We are also grateful that it didn't occur in the middle of our move the previous week, or later on in my pregnancy. Timing was a mercy here.

Joseph was able to come home for less than 24 hours between episodes (maybe he shouldn't have) but he garnered enough strength to come home and added to it by being with his family, sitting at the table with his children, gathering his family for prayers, telling his son a story--simple things that helped immensely with the setback of having to go back and suffer some more. Another tender mercy.

And as I walked the halls of the hospital day after day up to his room, I was constantly reminded it could be worse. It could always be worse.

2. Unexpected--a word that gained new meaning during this ordeal. Gifts can be unexpected, international moves, pregnancies. And sickness gave it a new dimension. I was also reminded that health is fragile and should not be taken for granted. We can't exactly say why this happened, but we both felt strongly that there was and is a purpose for it. We had to learn lessons that couldn't be learned any other way. Part of experience in this mortal life includes suffering and pain. It is unpleasant but necessary and even valuable. I think someday when we look back at our life--the joy, the surprises, the disappointments, pain and suffering--we will say it was worth it. Having a body and this mortal experience was worth all of it.

3. There are good things in life and important things in life and when something like this happens, you just drop what's not essential and focus on what is. The first week I tried to do everything I normally did, keeping on top of the busy schedule I have with 4 children and a pregnancy to manage. And then I was exhausted, depleted of energy and momentum and feeling a little bit of despair. So the second week I didn't plan anything ahead. I just woke up that day and asked myself, what are the important things I need to do today? Preschool was put on hold, piano, play groups, even some church activities. It is amazing how many good activities can go if needed and how you see yourself rise in strength and capability when occasion requires. I was able to spend time with Joseph each day, keep the family stable, and myself healthy and strong. That's what was essential.

4. At first I thought the bowel obstruction was kind of a side thing, a complication that would be easily fixed and that was it. Little did I realize how delicate the bowels can be and how important they are to our daily life. I thought a lot about bowels during this time and began to reflect on their symbolism and how they are used in the gospel and the scriptures. We all know about the heart--its literal importance and figurative meaning. The heart is the life blood, the powerful pulse of our existence and the symbol of our love, our feelings and emotion. The bowels are the at the very center of our bodies, giving us our nutrition; and they are also to be full of charity and compassion, both spiritual forms of nutrition we offer to others. The bowels also sustain life and we are taught that Christ's bowels are full of mercy which sustains us in this life and ultimately extends to us eternal life.

5. And finally we about got our moneys worth of insurance after paying 10+ years of premiums. The total bill here was steep and would have been triple that if we were in the states. Health care is significantly cheaper here and still excellent. Joseph said he's rather just pay the premiums and never cash in. In any case, we easily met our out-of-pocket maximum, a goal we never aspired to reach, nonetheless another thing we are grateful for.