The Conclusion

After fifteen days in and out of the hospital and operating theaters, Joseph finally came home last weekend. When he said to the doctor at his follow-up appointment, "A hundred years ago I would have been dead," the doctor responded that actually people today die from the severity of appendicitis that he had. His appendix most likely burst on a Saturday and his abdomen was filled with infection. The doctor said it was an acute rupture of the appendix and the infection had almost certainly gone into his blood stream by Sunday afternoon when he went to the ER. If he wasn't healthy and strong, he could very well have gone into shock from the poison filling his body.

The first surgery on that Sunday afternoon went well and his appendix was removed followed by 2 liters of antibiotic rinse to clean his intestines. However, he remained weak and sick and recovery wasn't going well. In 5-10% of appendix cases, the small intestines can become blocked due to the "stickiness" of the procedure. The more severe the case, the more likely this can happen. During the first week, Joseph continued to vomit excessively and it became apparent that something else was wrong. More CAT scans revealed that he had intestinal adhesions--or his small bowels had stuck together causing an obstruction, blocking the path in the small intestine and causing the intestines to swell considerably. He looked terrible, hadn't eaten in anything in a week and was really kept going by IV fluids. He was vomiting stomach acids profusely and finally they put a tube down his throat to relieve him of that. His next surgery was a week later had was performed right after this new problem was discovered. The doctor was able to go into his abdomen through the same 3 cuts from the appendix, adding a fourth.


Recovery was slow but going in the right direction this time. He was unable to eat anything for days, keeping the IVs in with liquid and food now along with the tube draining his stomach acids. Then, starting with the basics, he slowly and painfully added things to his diet--rice cereal, applesauce, jello, soup. After another week of what seemed like baby steps (literally and figuratively), he was able to get off the sustaining IVs and pain killers and come home.

Some lessons learned from this experience:

1. Even during tough times, it is very clear that the Lord is aware of you and watching over everything and this is evidenced by small miracles. We call these tender mercies. We are grateful Joseph wasn't in China when all this happened. He started feeling uncomfortable on the flight home, and within an hour of landing he was really sick. We are also grateful that it didn't occur in the middle of our move the previous week, or later on in my pregnancy. Timing was a mercy here.

Joseph was able to come home for less than 24 hours between episodes (maybe he shouldn't have) but he garnered enough strength to come home and added to it by being with his family, sitting at the table with his children, gathering his family for prayers, telling his son a story--simple things that helped immensely with the setback of having to go back and suffer some more. Another tender mercy.

And as I walked the halls of the hospital day after day up to his room, I was constantly reminded it could be worse. It could always be worse.

2. Unexpected--a word that gained new meaning during this ordeal. Gifts can be unexpected, international moves, pregnancies. And sickness gave it a new dimension. I was also reminded that health is fragile and should not be taken for granted. We can't exactly say why this happened, but we both felt strongly that there was and is a purpose for it. We had to learn lessons that couldn't be learned any other way. Part of experience in this mortal life includes suffering and pain. It is unpleasant but necessary and even valuable. I think someday when we look back at our life--the joy, the surprises, the disappointments, pain and suffering--we will say it was worth it. Having a body and this mortal experience was worth all of it.

3. There are good things in life and important things in life and when something like this happens, you just drop what's not essential and focus on what is. The first week I tried to do everything I normally did, keeping on top of the busy schedule I have with 4 children and a pregnancy to manage. And then I was exhausted, depleted of energy and momentum and feeling a little bit of despair. So the second week I didn't plan anything ahead. I just woke up that day and asked myself, what are the important things I need to do today? Preschool was put on hold, piano, play groups, even some church activities. It is amazing how many good activities can go if needed and how you see yourself rise in strength and capability when occasion requires. I was able to spend time with Joseph each day, keep the family stable, and myself healthy and strong. That's what was essential.

4. At first I thought the bowel obstruction was kind of a side thing, a complication that would be easily fixed and that was it. Little did I realize how delicate the bowels can be and how important they are to our daily life. I thought a lot about bowels during this time and began to reflect on their symbolism and how they are used in the gospel and the scriptures. We all know about the heart--its literal importance and figurative meaning. The heart is the life blood, the powerful pulse of our existence and the symbol of our love, our feelings and emotion. The bowels are the at the very center of our bodies, giving us our nutrition; and they are also to be full of charity and compassion, both spiritual forms of nutrition we offer to others. The bowels also sustain life and we are taught that Christ's bowels are full of mercy which sustains us in this life and ultimately extends to us eternal life.

5. And finally we about got our moneys worth of insurance after paying 10+ years of premiums. The total bill here was steep and would have been triple that if we were in the states. Health care is significantly cheaper here and still excellent. Joseph said he's rather just pay the premiums and never cash in. In any case, we easily met our out-of-pocket maximum, a goal we never aspired to reach, nonetheless another thing we are grateful for.

Crazy Days

So Joseph came home from China late on Friday and within an hour or so was hit with terrible flu-like symptoms. On Saturday he was basically out the whole day and then checked himself into the hospital on Sunday while I was getting everyone ready for church. I thought it was swine flu, and Joseph thought it was the pasta I cooked for him before he came home (running fuel) which I said was crazy because it was perfectly good pasta. Anyway, the doctors first thought he had bad food poisoning and then on second thought decided to look at his appendix. After several tests, they decided to do surgery immediately and went in to find his appendix had burst and his abdomen was full of infection. Two days later and he is not doing so good or home yet and we are looking a Thursday discharge, hopefully, but still a slow recovery to the full blown crazy Joseph who runs a marathon every Saturday morning. Between keeping up with soccer, swimming lessons, preschool, homework, a teething toddler, moving issues, a pregnancy and hospital visits, I am sorry to announce that the promised update with pictures has been postponed until further notice.

Stay tuned

I have so much catching up to do and I intend to get to it sooner or later, hopefully sooner. There is a lot of ground to cover with our summer in the US, the new baby coming, school starting and a move to a new house. I have been so busy with the details of all these things, especially nailing down the doctor and hospital I want to deliver at, and then the lists of things to do and sort out with moving (not to mention Joseph traveling every week). We haven't disappeared off the face of the earth, although it may seem that way. So stay tuned for some new pictures and exciting info . . .

Minnesota

We make our way to Minnesota each summer as well to spend time with the Gordhamers and friends from our neighborhood and church. This summer we stayed with Lora (Joseph's sister), Jeff Gunderson and their family out in Jordan. They have a fantastic garden that we enjoyed fresh produce from and even got a turn at weeding. Below is our real life cabbage patch doll, Ella. The Gunderson's have a little pug which Ella adored. She spent hours chasing the dog and trying to be one herself.



We spent several fun afternoons in our old neighborhood on Games Drive with the Kraft Family. Abigail and Maggie love to play with Madeline and Haley.


With an apple orchard, a boat, a barn, motorcycles and go carts, and cousins galore, there is always something fun to do. Abigail and Maggie had a great time lip sinking and performing musical numbers with their cousins. Xander was in heaven with the boy toys.

Happy 4th Birthday to Alexander! We celebrated his birthday at Lora's house with an extended birthday party and huge cake. Xander waited a long time for this day to come and was really excited to open presents: Nerf guns and transformers.

We enjoyed a family Fourth of July campout at Cleary Lake. We all dressed for the occasion to take a clan picture. It is tradition to do a silly shot along with the more serious ones. It is a lot of fun and has become a tradition almost every summer. Unfortunately, I caught a bad flu the first day and spent the whole weekend sick in bed, missing the picture, fireworks and most of the cam pout. The kids had a wonderful time though watching the skits, playing in the river, roasting hot dogs and marshmallows, and ending the weekend with a spectacular firework display out by the casino. Such good times.

California Summer

Each summer we undertake the major exodus to the US. This entails packing 4 kids up for the summer holiday and boarding a jumbo jet to spend 15+ very long hours to reach California, with a stopover in Japan. It is an absolute nightmare but there is no other way around it. Luckily, we soon forget it happened while we spend a wonderful summer among family and friends.

This past summer holiday began in California with a trip to Disneyland. It was the first time at Disneyland for half of them, and the first time they remember for the older girls. I mostly watched with Ella on the sidelines, resting my pregnant body.

A trip to California always entails lots of beach time and walks along the bluffs. The weather is always perfect in the summer and the kids can spend hours on end in the sand and water. Alexander became buddies with his cousin David and we are lucky Joseph and Tracy live close to my parents and Xander was able to see David often. All my sisters came to California at one time or another. Kiersten and Alessa were there for awhile with Tasha and her girls. Abigail, Maggie, Afton and Eliza make up a perfect foursome. Grandma got the sewing machine out and the girls had fun making rag quilts and doll clothes with Grandma. Cami and Kara also came with their children for a week, bringing along a new cat and some cat drama (Grandma already has two cats and they didn't all get along.)

Most of the time, the kids played happily on Grandma and Grandpa's hill in the tree house, swinging, visiting the horses, in the garage playing the wii, swimming in the jacuzzi or waterfall, or eating fresh popped popcorn in the loggia. You couldn't find a better place to spend the summer and create some fun memories.

We spent a fun morning at the marine institute in Dana Point, enjoying the displays of fish and other marine life in the area.

School Days

Here are some final school year pictures. Abigail and Maggie both had a fantastic year at their school here in Singapore. A few weeks ago they have a program called student led conferences. This is where the student leads their parents through their year with a portfolio containing samples of all their academic work and progress. Then they take us around to the different specials: art, PE and music. Pictured here are Abigail and Maggie on the climbing wall in the gym. They are also pictured next to their art in the art show that the art department puts together. Maggie is pointing to her piece and Abigail is standing by the cakes with slices--her piece.

Abigail is with her Achievement Day group. I am the leader for her age. (There are actually 13 girls so they are split into older and younger. ) We had fun making summer flip-flops last week. And below she is modeling her "Chewer Trainer," her invention she made for the invention convention at school (kind of like a science fair, only with an invention.) You wear it at dinner and it reminds you to keep your mouth closed while you are chewing.

Xander at his school. He is with his teacher Miss Christina. Some of his friends at the activity table. Also a picture of him writing his name on the board with his friends Iman. They all have to write their name when they come in.

Here is Xander with Laoshi his Chinese teacher in the classroom. (Laoshi has two tone marks and literally means teacher in Chinese.) She does their Chinese circle time.































Putting his shoes away and at the play yard.

New Stuff

Well, our anniversary is over and so I wanted to post something else now. Here are some pictures of the kids that Joseph has taken recently. There actually weren't that many to choose from--just shows that we aren't getting the cameras out much anymore. Joseph has been so busy at work and has traveled these past weeks. He flew to Houston via Moscow for a total of 24 hours on board an airplane. Whenever I think I am having a hard time going solo with 4 kids, I just think of that and realize he isn't exactly having a picnic either. He also was released as gospel doctrine teacher in the ward and is now in Young Men's again, as 2nd C working with the Teachers. This is the 4th ward/YM Presidency he has been in now. I knew it was coming sooner or later. Gospel Doctrine teacher is a dream of a calling for a spouse though--no meetings, activities, camp outs, youth conferences, firesides, etc. Just built in scripture study every week. He is happy with the YM though and there is a good reason why he is always asked to work with them.

I feel like I am counting down the days for school to end more than my daughters. Every morning when the alarm goes off at 6:30am I think, 1 more down, 13 to go. (That is how many school days are currently left.) Only 26 more lunches to pack, 13 more afternoons of homework to get through (minus weekends and the last day actually,) 13 more buses to catch and so on. They have both had a fantastic school year and I can hardly believe it is coming to a close. They have matured a lot and grown physically. I can't do Abigail's hair anymore if she is standing up. I have also had fun introducing the girls to things that I loved as a girl. We recently acquired the first 3 seasons of the TV show Avonlea and we have fun watching it together on the weekends when Joseph is traveling.

Xander has been going to a preschool that is made up of more local kids. He has really enjoyed it and grown socially as well. Singapore's school year goes from January to December though and so Xander is leaving in the middle of it which makes things interesting for when we return (and for billing purposes.) Basically, he just takes a 2 month holiday. Ella is getting over croup but is otherwise well. She is an active, smiley little thing. Her favorite things are "gog" (dog,) "orse" (horse,) and "uh oh." That is pretty much all she says. I think she is too busy to bother talking much. She will officially start nursery in 2 weeks. Now whether or not she will go is another question.

Xander climbing at the park.

Ella ready for bed, wearing her favorite blankie.

Abigail's 3rd grade class made a quilt--each student painted and quilted one square. Then they all got to take it home for a night.

Cute Maggie at the park.

Maggie's class did a Habitat Luau performance. They danced to the Beach Boys "Kokomo" and all presented their reports on tropical animals (Maggie chose a Sloth.)